Becky Grace
16 Aug 2024
The Breakup Monologues: The Unexpected Joy of Heartbreak
Join us for an evening of bookish breakup comedy with the delightful and hilarious Rosie Wilby
🗓️ Saturday 5 October
⏰ 6-7pm
📍 Babasheesh Maidstone (Residence Room)
🥂 Private bar
In 2011, award-winning comedian and podcaster Rosie Wilby was dumped by email... though she did feel a little better about it after correcting her ex's spelling and punctuation. Obsessing about breakups ever since, she embarked on a quest to investigate, understand and conquer the psychology of heartbreak.
Her book, The Breakup Monologues, is a love letter to her breakups, a celebration of what they have taught her, peppered with anecdotes from illustrious friends and interviews with relationship therapists, scientists and sociologists about separating in the modern age of ghosting, breadcrumbing and conscious uncoupling.
We caught up with Rosie to ask more.
How did your comedy career begin?
I was a singer songwriter in the late nineties and early noughties. When my band all broke up and I started playing solo, I tried throwing in some between-song banter and self-deprecating stories to break up my wistful acoustic songs. And people started laughing. So I entered one or two comedy competitions and got through to the funny women final in 2006.
You have a really strong focus on relationships in your work, whether through your stand up, podcast or books. Where did that focus come from?
When I was writing my 2009 Edinburgh show, I was searching for a theme. Then I got dumped by email. And I started to obsess about love and relationships and how the hell to find a way to be happy. I was also always interested in the science of how things work. So got really into the psychology of why we fancy certain people or why we are a particular sexual orientation. Readers might enjoy my chapter about participating in a sex lab. A very peculiar experience!
People often say your podcast and books have helped them in their own relationships or through their own breakups – did you set out to help others through your work or was that just a happy byproduct?
Initially it was a quest to find answers for myself and create something funny. However there was always a sense that I wanted to represent the narratives that fall outside the mainstream-y ones we see in rom coms. As a gay woman, I just didn’t think I saw my own story represented anywhere. And in particular the psychology reference books about love all made sweeping disclaimers about how the writer was focused primarily on heterosexual relationships (but that other relationships more or less worked the same. I disagree).
Do people often share their stories of heartbreak with you?
Yes! Some are hilarious - the people who’ve chased a fleeing lover out of the house naked and then had to face the neighbours the next day, whereas some are so poignant and touching. Some people ask for advice. And I’d say the best thing might be to speak to a therapist. Although I’d also vouch for creativity, writing and performing being a pretty useful vehicle for healing.
How important do you think it is to explore the highs and lows of relationships more openly like this?
Very important! We don’t have many realistic representations of love.
What 3 words would you use to describe The Breakup Monologues.
Honest, inclusive, funny.
Personally signed copies of Rosie’s book will be available for sale after the talk. Or to check it out in advance, look here: The Breakup Monologues
Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian, author, speaker and broadcaster who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman's Hour, Saturday Live and Four Thought, TV programmes including Good Morning Britain and Sunday Morning Live and at major festivals around the world. Her latest book The Breakup Monologues combines humour, heartache and science to investigate how on earth to actively stay in a happy, healthy, compassionate relationship in the modern age of ghosting, breadcrumbing and Tinder. It has been described by Red Magazine as a ‘gem of a book’ and is inspired by Rosie’s podcast of the same name.